My 100th post: An Ode to Sex and Social Media


At 29 years old I am the generation of social media's origination and if I hadn't started this blog 100 posts ago, I fear I would have become a dinosaur of this space, unable to truly understand the incredible power of these resources in my efforts to educate and communicate about sex, sexuality and gender. With Facebook launching in 2004, the year I graduated from college, and Twitter launching in 2006, the year I graduated from grad school, I was right on the cusp of not being able "to get" how significant these technologies are and will be in the future. So let's just jump into the good stuff and examine all of the incredible ways sex intersects with social media:



Is Facebook Foreplay? A few months ago Shape and Men's Fitness magazines did a survey about sex in the digital age, with some interesting results. Apparently, technologies such as texting and flirting over Facebook make us feel closer to one another, expediting sex. While some experts such as Dr. Dorree Lynn believe this is "faux intimacy" it is not changing the fact that people are having more sex more quickly because of these technologies, with 80 perfect of women saying their Facebook relationship led to sex more quickly with 58 percent of men saying flirting over Facebook, text of Gchat lead to sex sooner.

           In addition to the power of Facebook:

  •  76 percent of women said they would look at their partner's e-mail account if it was left open, while 69 percent of men admitted to the same thing.
  • 64 percent of women and 50 percent of men said they use texts to connect with their partners
  • 70 percent of the respondents admitted to sexting.
  • 5 percent will glance at their phone during sex.
  • 1 percent would answer a call during sex.

To learn more:

  • "11% Have had Sex With Someone They Met of Facebook": In a survey of 2,000 adults by commissioned by UKTV, it was revealed
  • 46% have sent illicit texts to someone other than their partner
  • 35% have included nude photos of themselves in the texts
  • 30% watch porn online by themselves
  • 17% watch porn online with their partner
  • 10% have had sex with a coworker (50% of those while at work)

To learn more:

  • Is Facbook a "Portal to Infidelity"? Well, Rev. Cedric Miller thought so and ordered "50 married officials at his Living Word Christian Fellowship Church to delete their Facebook accounts or resign." It is said that Rev, Miller blamed "the website for igniting "old passions" as people get back in touch with former spouses and friends, and said 20 couples out of his church's 1,100 members have faced marital trouble because of Facebook." While he may not have used Facebook to aid in sexual behaviors, this same pastor was forced to admit that he engaged in group sex with his wife and a male church assistant and that "the liaisons reportedly took place at the pastor's home, during Thursday night Bible study meetings or after church on Sundays."

To learn more:   facebook-admits-to-group-sex/19727485

  • Does Facebook Make it Harder to Get Over an Ex?: If you are friends with an ex on Facebook you get to see everything they are doing and who they are doing it with. "A new poll from the relationship website YourTango shows that 59 percent of people have stayed "friends" with past lovers on Facebook and 74 percent have Googled their exes."

To learn more:

  • Does Social Media Lead to Divorce? If we believe that Facebook is a form of foreplay and can lead to you reigniting passions with an ex or lead to adultery, it is not surprising that according to "A new survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers also says around 80 percent of divorce lawyers have reported a spike in the number of cases that use social media for evidence of cheating, according to the Daily Mail." "Facebook was by far the biggest offender, with 66 percent of lawyers citing it as the primary source of evidence in a divorce case. MySpace followed with 15 percent, Twitter at five percent and other websites together at 14 percent." Be careful what you do on social media sites after separation, it has been used in some divorce proceedings as evidence to leverage divorce settlements.

To learn more:

  • Facebook Status Updates: Same Sex Unions and Easier Break-Up Stalking:
  • "Facebook Breakup Notifier lets users pick friends whose relationship statuses they’d like to stay up to date with and sends them an email when it changes."
  • Facebook has added two new statuses to the relationship section: “in a civil union” and “in a domestic partnership.”

To learn more:

  • Facebook Hacked to Make a Dating Site: While Facebook is not explicitly a dating site, it provides much of the same biographical information that can be found on an assortment of sites. This month over 250,000 Facebook pages were hacked in the name of art by Paolo Cirio and Alessandro Ludovic and placed on a dating website called To the dismay of may users the images were tagged with labels ranging from "easy going" to "climber" to "smug."

To learn more:

To learn more about Visualizing Facebook (image above): as well as the "Internet Sex Moves" Illustrated by Caldwell Tanner: